A funny thought crossed my mind today...
Were there ever gay cavemen?
queer was never this fabulous
Nine months, 25 one night stands, and one earth-shattering heartbreak later, FAB is BACK on Blogger!
Exes are funny things. They're like unwanted Christmas gifts. You're thankful that you received them, but you really don't want to keep them. So what exactly do you do with them?
Kris Aquino just announced on The Buzz that she’s going to get married.
At last! I found HIM! The only gorgeous man in Cebu. I saw him the minute I entered Café Theatro. The cute boy with the soft chestnut eyes and sexy goatee. The cute boy with the trim figure in the fashyon black shirt buttoned down low enough to show off his smooth mestizo chest. The cute boy laughing playfully with his mixed crowd of fags, fag hags and drag queens - all enamored by his beauty. It was HIM. The gorgeous man that I had been waiting for. I was mesmerized. Spellbound. I could feel my temperature rising. I had to meet him.
I haven’t had sex in a while. A month and two weeks to be exact. Cebu, they said, was filled with yummy Chinito bois and Mestizo men who would gladly throw themselves at me the instant I do my signature Blue Steel pout. Sad to say, I’ve been here for three months and not one gorgeous Chinito boi or delicious Mestizo man has even thrown me as much as a glance. Partly because, THERE ARE NO GORGEOUS CHINITO BOIS AND DELICIOUS MESTIZO MEN IN CEBU! Whoever told me that vicious lie…well, LIED. I vow to curse them with itchy pubic lice for life.
WARNING: To all those reading this...this is NOT for the faint of heart. This is a story that I've been writing with this really hot guy through email...one of those he wrote, he wrote back type of things....the parts he wrote are in purple, the parts I wrote are in blue.
What happens when a seemingly perfect man can’t seem to land a stable relationship?
After being hurt so many times is it possible to find the RIGHT MAN to love again?
"We can learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box."
There’s a sign in the office bathroom that says:
"Gentlemen: Please aim. Stand closer. It’s shorter than you think."
I can’t help but wonder what they mean by the last sentence. What’s shorter? Is it the distance between you and the urinal? Or is it an offensive comment poking fun at the size of your dick?
While I’d like to think that the phrase refers to the previous statement, I really can’t help but agree that it makes more sense that it’s the latter.
Dicks aren’t as big as you’d like for them to be.
Or as you’d hope.
I’ve seen my fair share of dicks. And I’ve slept with more than my fair share of men to know that physical appearance does not, by any means, determine dick size. Sad to say, sleeping with most of them have left a lot to be desired – size wise.
Forget everything they said about foot size. You know what they say about guys with big feet right? Well… they have big feet. That’s all. No mathematical equation about foot size divided by half plus 2 inches will ensure that Mr. Big(foot) is big anywhere else.
Forget hand size too. No relation. Or nose size for that matter.
And forget all hopes that Mr. Pin-Up-Model, with the bulging pecs and ripped abs, will be The One. While it would be ideal that he had an equally impressive bulge elsewhere, being buff does not necessarily equate to having an equally buffed-up package. Believe me, I’ve slept with enough Herculean gods to know that sometimes the white loincloths are best left on.
On average, the men that I’ve slept with have had dicks anywhere from one poor little inch to four inches. (Let’s keep Mr. Rock-Hard-7-Inches out of the discussion). Let’s not even talk about girth. Balls have been equally disappointing. Quail eggs anyone?
Looks can really be deceiving and once the boxer briefs are off, utterly disappointing.
Okay. Maybe I’m being too hard on short men. (pun intended)
It’s not their fault that they weren’t gifted with a bigger package. And I’m sure that day and night they worry that they may be inadequate.
So I’ll be a bit nicer now (*positive thinking mode switched on*).
It’s true that they don’t have much to brag about, but in all fairness, some of them DO certainly know how to compensate. Some men with smaller dicks really know how to give a blowjob. And boy, do they blow! Talk about mind-blowing, toe-curling, back-arching, gasping-for-air orgasms! You know, the type where you’re caught in the verge of climax with each flick of his tongue.
This brings me back to the sign in the office bathroom and how it rings with truth. Men with short dicks have learned to aim. They’ve learned what works well and feels best – how fast to lick and which sensitive parts are most receptive. While they don’t have bragging rights or the right to dangle their dicks from a considerable distance – they have developed skills that makes them far more valuable. Short men aim to please. And boy, do they AIM well!